Communication: 10 Essential Skills of Effective Communication

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people" Theodore Roosevelt

"Communication is to relationships what breath what breath is to life" Virginia Satir

Here are 10 basic ingredients good communication, which if practiced well, will build relationships, open doors, improve confidence and create friendships.

 1.Be a good listener

Listening is the basis of all communication. It creates the channel by which true exchange can take place.  It is a gift.

" Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. " Karl Menninger

Dean Rusk says, "One of the best ways to persuade other is with your ears- by listening to them." This ability to listen is so rare that if you have it, you will be welcome and appreciated everywhere.

2.Be present

" When I'm with him I'm totally with him. I'm not where I've been or where I'm going. When I was a father, although I was with my kids, I was usually somewhere else" Richard Atlas ( speaking of his grandson)

3.Have something good to say.

See a need and fill it. Have an active interest in the other person and what's going around.

" Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man" Louis Nizer.

4.Convey your message well-  not just what you say, but how you say it.

Your body language can speak louder than words. The head never hears until the heart has listened. Speak with passion, project warmth empathy and caring. People are more likely to be won over by what you do than what you say.

5.Take responsibility- check the accuracy of what you have heard.

This reassures the other person that you have been listening. For example, you may want to feed back what you have heard back to the speaker, If you are unsure, ask for clarification. Make sure the other has grasped your exact meaning. When listening, make sure that you fully understand what is said,

6.Be aware of barriers that exist.

For example, there may be psychological barriers– we have tendency to hear what we want and screen out what we find unacceptable. Another barrier is in the emotions- people who feel insecure, anxious suspicious resentful and are  prone to distorting what they say or hear.

7.Focus on the content.

Even you find the language or ideas distasteful or offensive, keep listening. The other party won't open up to you if they think you are being prudish or judgmental.

8. Learn to read body language.

Listen with your ears and your eyes. You may read more than you hear.

9.Learn to cope with silence.

The speaker's mind is still active and often moments of profound insights take place. Resist the temptation to jump in. You may lost an important train of thought.

10.Build rapport.

Listen. Understand. You may want to relate similar experiences and agree with the other person as much as possible. It builds a common understanding and connection between the individuals concerned. It creates a climate of trust which makes the interaction smoother.

In mastering theses skills of effective communication you are building bridges.

That oils the wheels of human relations.

And touches lives.