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How To Set Goals- Begin At The Beginning- Your Core Values
Goal setting is important, but the fundamentals need to be settled first. Unexamined goals are dangerous, as was mentioned in the previous post.
"Why was I not told, that in my brain I hold, in one tiny ivory cell, both God's heaven and God's hell?" Oscar Wilde
Voices are crying, pulling in many directions. Almost magnetically, we are drawn toward those goals which seem attractive, and promise us things we think we want. That new car, that girlfriend, that promotion, that image of yourself that makes others think you are smart, cool, slick and popular, wanted.
Whatever you are now, and whatever you want and what you do where you live, how you dress, whom you marry and where you work- is the sum total of all of you. The unique being that is You. The sum total of all that you have experienced, accumulated over the years. Your programming, conditioning, influences, externally and internally. And it makes up your thinking, your beliefs, your perception of the world.
It is important that we enter into a place of self discovery before we embark on goals.
True, we have wants and needs at every and any moment in our lives.
You may want that job so you can feed your family with 10 mouths.
You may want that relationship because it means a lot to you.
You may want that successful business.
You may want to be accepted in the group, so you belong with friends you admire.
You may want to be known as the coolest, smartest guy on the planet.
Or the greatest teacher.
Or be the most successful entrepreneur on earth.
The difference is distinguishing this from what is truly what you want rather than being ego driven and fear driven.
For example, the promotion may not be the end all of what you want. It may be a symbol of acceptance by peers whom you admire at that moment. To prove that you can be capable of this achievement. Or having that girlfriend may be a symbol of your having succeeded to get her amongst many others. It is a need to feed that ego. That she belongs to you. That only you are the one who can meet her needs. It's about You, not her.
There may be voices crying- Be successful in the eyes of society. Be successful no matter what. Enjoy the status, the wealth. Do this, so you will feel good. Go out with this person, please her , so you can make her happy. Many people are watching.
There may be other voices crying- don't do this- it's not what you really want. Follow your heart. Don't sell your soul.
Which do you listen to?
They are pulling in all directions. strongly.
You may say—yes, at this stage in my life, I want to have it. I want. I want the status symbol, so I can feel proud of myself and my achievements. So I can answer to my family.
Nothing wrong with that.
That car, that girlfriend, that motor bike, that house.
They are achievements, and milestones in their own right.
The key is to be aware. of whether that is truly in alignment with your core values.
Core values are to be discovered. What do you truly value?
Money and status symbols can't buy happiness. Many find that after they've achieved what they thought they wanted, they felt empty. A Ferrari could be the expression of a childhood unmet desire to want something that represents power, wealth, that one previously could not have.
Examining it closer, what does it truly mean to you? Buying the a status symbol, the acceptance, the lifestyle?
1. First, go into a quiet place, with no distractions, just to be by yourself. Be aware that you are going to embark on a journey of self discovery.
By becoming aware and taking charge will be the beginning of a process of freedom and self discovery that will allow you to expand in the direction of who you really are, what you really treasure.
It's not about the past. It's not about the programming. It's not about what you have now, or how you've done. It's primitive.
2. Then think of all the people you admire. Real or fictional, preferably real.
As many as you can think of. Write them down. Take time to do this.
3. Then put an adjective next to each of the names, and the reason for admiration. As many adjectives as you can think of too.
For example, Mother Teresa. selfless.
Winston Churchill. courage, boldness, leadership.
Pastor. leader, loving, dedicated.
School student leader- smart, good looks, intelligent, capable, socially capable.
Warren Buffet- smart, savvy, intelligent, take intelligent risks, bold.
Your grandmother- loving, dedicated, make wise decisions, decisive, put family first.
Motorbike racer- daring, bold, adventurous.
Write as many qualities you admire as possible.
4. Then combine all the qualities, so each unique quality appears only once. You would have a list of all the qualities that you admire.
5. Next, ask why they are important to you. Reflect on them.
The answer is that they are important to you because this is list of things that resonates with who you really are, and what you want. This is a description and list of what you admire, some of which will comprise your core values.
6. Next, think of your faith, your religion. What are the values that resonate with your core, your being? Do you fully agree with what your faith teaches? If not, why and if so, why?
What are the qualities and core values that you truly resonate with and what are those that don't?
It could be love, justice, fairness, not returning evil for evil, forgiveness, gratitude, doing good to others who cannot return the favor, trust, faith, hope.
Those that resonate with you are Your core values. Yours alone.
Take some time to really reflect on this. You may want to keep the list and review it over the next few days.
Congratulations.
This is the beginning of discovery.
You have taken an important first step.
In discovering, in knowing, in being, in becoming.
technorati tags: goal setting. core values. self discovery
Dream goal setting goals inspiration motivation passion passionate personal development personal values self motivation time management values
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