How To Restore Hurt Feelings in Your Relationships- Saying Sorry Is the Hardest

I've made a mistake. Now what! Mistakes have a way of getting you down. Especially when it involves another person's feelings.

"I blundered."
"I'm sorry"
Is the hardest word to say.

"Knowing you've hurt someone is one of the hardest things in life to go through…not being forgiven by someone you really care about is the hardest…"

It is a humbling experience.
Sometimes one minute of anger can cause a decade or even a lifetime of hurt.

It hurts when we've hurt others. Often inadvertently. We didn't mean to. But it happened.
We sometimes wish the other person could be more resilient and taken our nonsense with more buffer. But we have caused hurt. Sometimes, it is because of ourselves. We have been living our lives, focusing on ourselves and our problems. And when things do not go right, we get upset. Our emotional reserves are low. And we inadvertently spill it over on to others.

Time does not heal all wounds. We have to face the situation head on.

Pain is real and can happen, more often than not. But it can be eased.

Here are 10 steps to take when you have hurt someone- inadvertently.

1. Admit your mistake.

2. Seek restoration. If you were are party in it, face it. Go ahead and think about how you can make amends.

3. Don't beat yourself up more than you already have. Forgive yourself.

4. Forgive the other person.

5. Get in touch with your own feelings and the root cause. Examine whether your current state of disease, anger or resentment and whether it was the tip of a much larger iceberg. It may not be the other person. It was just that he/ she was unfortunate enough to be the proverbial feather on the camel's back that broke it.

6. Communicate your feelings and intention to resolve the issue. It can be by writing, or a dialogue in which both parties seek to find restoration.

7. Don't make judgmental statements. We do not know the whole picture. There may be equally convincing arguments on both sides for the rightness of his / her position. But in truth, perception is reality. What the other person perceives is the truth to him/her, whether or not it is really so. It is what the other interprets that is reality. His reality.

8. In communicating and seeking restoration, listen. Really listen. It validates the other. And often when his or her grievances are allowed to be expressed, it is the beginning of healing. Breaking down the walls that have been built and making way to true communication.

.9. Take responsibility for the situation. For the part you have played. It does not matter how you were feeling at that time. It does not justify the actions taken toward the other person to cause the hurt.

10. Take responsibility for making things better. In the future. What you need to do. What you need from the other person. The buck doesn't just stop at an apology. You do not want the situation to be repeated.

11. Finally, ( bonus) boost your emotional reserves. Fill your emotional bank. Fill the other person's emotional bank. Regularly. Be so full that you have no room for pettiness and hurt. Meditate. Appreciate. All the goodness in life. Love. Gratitude. Blessings. Relationships..

Yes, blunders occur. Accept it and move on.
Remember what you are on earth for.
Remember your true mission.

And that is not to experience any more of these unnecessary painful situations than you have to.

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